So, “Life’s been good”, I wanna say, but uh… today I’ll talk about some blog stuff and a lot of health stuff!
Hence, good news first! I changed the home page’s layout. Instead of just featuring some of my favourite reviews in that carousel, I now decided to feature some reviews instead that are fitting for the current month. In October’s case, there’re my reviews of Chasing Static, Among The Sleep, Lamentum, Yuppie Psycho, Sir, You Are Being Hunted!, Spooky’s Jumpscare Mansion, and Necrobarista! The first six titles are for the people that want an Indie Horror game during the spooky season… and Necrobarista is for the people that want a cosy game for the upcoming Fall Season. Once November hits, I’ll probably change it up to feature more fall-themed games or just reviews that I want to showcase more. I figured that that’s a good way to showcase reviews that don’t see much love or that I myself have forgotten about (looking at you, The Swindle… I wanted to review you until I remembered that I already did). Apart from that, it looks a bit cleaner now and prettier… Similarly, I changed some of the colours to be darker and more visible, specifically the link colours although it probably is a tad too subtle for anyone to notice. Still! I’m more than happy with how this turns out.
Honestly, a while ago, I turned blind on both eyes for an hour straight and I freaked out. I think I even tweeted out that my eyesight was fuzzy or that it let me down which is why we ended the stream early. I called up the oculist and got an appointment for last Monday. Monday, I went there as soon as possible. My appointment was for 8:20 AM, so I got up at 6, took a shower, took the bus around 7:30, arrived at 7:50 at the main station, and it took me ages to find the place, so I arrived at 8:24 AM, technically late… but the place was bustling with people, so I naturally had to wait a lot anyway. In Germany, we say “Zeit heilt alle Wunden” which translates to “time heals all wounds” – and jokingly, some people then also say that that’s the reason why you have to wait so long at the doctor’s place. I ended up waiting from 8:24 AM until 11:04 AM. The results were “Amaurosis fugax” which is just “Eyes get dark suddenly”. It’s not a disease or anything. Just how they describe things. Anyway, because they couldn’t help me at the eye doc, I was sent to the internal specialist (internist for short) who (again) was a pain in the arse to find. I waited from 11:25 AM until 12:53 there and essentially, the internist gave me this weird diagnosis… He got super angry at me for not calling an ambulance immediately and told me to go to the hospital right away. My father has had this surgery once before and the internist basically said that it might be blocked blood flow in my arteries causing strokes in my eyes.
Naturally, I was scared, anxious, maybe even in a panic… but I was also hungry, so I ate lunch at my favourite Vietnamese place, especially because I needed some good food to distract myself briefly… I didn’t wanna cry in public. It’s a weird thing. Anyway, since I was scared so much by the internist, I went to the hospital with this emergency note and arrived around 13:20. There I had to fill out paperwork but had trouble doing so because my pupils were still widened by the oculist’s eye drops. So, they then took my blood and the guy that took the samples messed up and ended up not holding the thing not tight enough. Since I can’t see blood, I looked away. He said “oops” and I thought he was done but when I looked my whole arm was red… and his arm was full of my blood and the floor was full of blood. There was blood everywhere! “Es läuft gut!”, he said, and my blood flow felt encouraged, I guess. “It’s going good” or “It’s flowing well”, btw. Anyway, he fixed it and got the samples and I basically spent the whole day in the hospital then. Later, I got a CT and after waiting for nearly four hours, I finally got the results: Nothing. I spent the whole day in the hospital only to learn nothing. When I got back home, it was nearly 7 PM and I was just tired really.
Edit: Originally, I mentioned here that the internal specialist’s diagnosis was bullshit according to the hospital… BUT after thinking about it, I probably would have spent the night in the hospital or waited even longer if it wasn’t for that extreme diagnosis, so I guess that internist getting angry at me was not only justified but his “diagnosis” was great as it allowed me to spend less time in the hospital, waiting to be let in for the tests.
Luckily, though, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! An MRT! I got this big letter that I’ll bring to my GP tomorrow and maybe that (and a potential ultrasound of my throat just to make sure it’s not the arteries) will give me answers as to why exactly I’ve been having chronic headaches for the past three years. I’ve been to a different GP before and didn’t get any results. My headaches have been getting worse and better but more than anything, I’ve gotten used to them – especially since I refuse to take painkillers every day unless I really have to. So, maybe I’ll get results on that tomorrow from the GP after he reads the letter from the hospital… and then I may have to visit the radiologist to get an MRT… and my GP may do an ultrasound for me… and then I’ll probably either a) find out nothing, b) find out what’s wrong or c) get sent to yet another doctor.
Once I know what’s wrong, I may actually write about it. For the past couple of days, I’ve written a lot about game-related stuff and in order to stay motivated, I try to break it up with non-gaming related posts like my press request post. I found that to be a lot healthier for me in terms of staying motivated as a blogger and reviewer. In other news, the new semester is finally starting and I’ll be able to actually visit my lectures in person. I’m really excited about that, especially as I’ll be able to meet old friends again, make new friends, and I’ll learn a lot more because digital classes really just didn’t do it for me. Similarly, this upcoming Saturday, I’ll be going to a party with Ms Magi and a few friends from the dorm… and it’s probably the first party that I’m visiting in nearly two years, so I’m really happy about that. I’ll get wasted, potentially, and I’ll dance… and since it’s October, I’ll most likely freeze my butt off… but it’s gonna be a lot of fun and I’m really excited about all of that. What’s more is that I recently got in touch with someone that I haven’t talked to ever since my first semester, back when I was still studying Mathematics. Turns out that guy’s now also living in a dorm nearby and we might be able to meet up. Somewhat recently, two close friends of mine that I’ve known for years (one of them for nearly a decade actually) decided that they don’t want anything to do with me anymore which made me quite sad. Hence, I’m quite happy that I’m now able to potentially fill in the gap in my close circle with an old friend, a new friend, and (with the upcoming parties) I may be able to spend a lot more time with other existing friends and actually do more with them. Sure, my best bud that goes way back with me since high school lives quite far away but maybe there’s an opportunity to meet up again and go out and have fun soon. It kinda feels like it’s springtime again, even though winter is just around the corner.
Anyway, that’s about it from today’s Stray Sheep. I really wanted to talk about this and it’s nice to get all of these thoughts out. Hope you enjoyed today’s ramblings and well, I’ll give y’all an update again once I know more about my headache. Oh, another thing that was funny is that one of the doctors at the hospital gave me a near heart attack when she said that my headaches could be caused by, and I quote, “anxiety, lack of sleep, cancer, sleep,…” and I just interrupted her with “wait, cancer?” and it just startled me a lot. But I was assured that cancer would have manifested itself in other symptoms after three years and that the MRT will probably get that sorted out as well. It was just kind of funny how cancer was mentioned nonchalantly like that. So, if I end up dying because of my head exploding or if there’s any news on what’s causing my headaches, I’ll write about it soon!