New Year’s resolutions and Positivity

For the last five years, I’ve made it somewhat of a tradition to think up New Year’s resolutions and while, at least around here, everyone says that nobody actually abides by their New Year’s resolutions… I usually faired quite well.

Before that, though: Content warning – There are pictures of cats in this post and if you’re scared of cats, beware! You’ve been warned!

As an example, I always managed to do “a little bit more sports” or go for a walk more often or eat healthier, etc. for the past couple of years. I knew that it was actually quite possible that I’d be able to do that, so then I paid attention to how often I actually bought fresh veggies and fresh meat instead of frozen stuff or canned food. At the same time, I’ve been eating less fast food and tried to cook a lot more often, which always worked out. 

During high school, I ended up chugging “getting over my ex” and “getting out there again” on the list as well and it would work but I feel like that’s more of a luck-based thing. I was young and stupid so I made that one of my resolutions every year when I was single and heart-broken – and it worked, I guess. I’d always end up in a relationship afterwards because obviously life goes on and there is plenty of fish in the sea. 

But even if it’s some unbelievably stupid goal like “going to Olympia this year” even though it won’t happen this year, it can be somewhat of a reassurance thing for someone as it reassures them that the next year is better than the last year. 

Resolutions are a good thing in a way as they would always give me some goal to look forward to, even if it was silly or obvious or whatever. Now, everyone talks about how 2020 wasn’t the best year but I don’t really get that since 2019 wasn’t that good either… and well, 2018 was quite stupid, too. And 2017 and 2016 were not the best years either. (Wait a minute… Trump has been president during those four years, hasn’t he? I see a pattern!) – Obviously, there are reasons for 2020 being not the best year with Covid, Wildfires, Double-Hurricanes, Trump nearly winning, Floyd, Covidiots, and all the pressure that this whole pandemic-business has been putting on us this year. But in hindsight, every other year feels a bit better than this one when in fact, you probably were looking forward to 2020 because 2019 was finally over… at least my Twitter timeline was full of tweets like that.

Photo by Henda Watani on Pexels.com

Point is: I hope 2021 is going to be better than 2020 and I hope that my resolutions will give me some sort of red string to follow when I get lost in 2020. Alas, here are my personal resolutions for this year:

  • Be more positive.
  • Eat healthier and more frequently.
  • Try to stick to healthy sleep schedules and eating times.
  • Maybe do a bit more sports.
  • Focus more on my studies.
  • Call my distant relatives at least once a month. Like, at least some of them.
  • Call my parents at least twice a week.
  • Be less negative and less cynical.

So let me explain these goals to you. A couple of these goals are quite obvious like focusing more on my studies, eating healthier and more frequently, doing a bit more sports/training/work-out-stuff, calling my family on the phone… etc. – I mean, I’ve wanted to fix my sleep schedule for ages now but I haven’t been able to do that for a longer period of time as I’d every now and then end up eating too late or waking up super early and napping during the day and that kind of stuff. In the same manner, I’d often skip meals multiple times a day or just eat once every other day, resulting in me losing a lot of weight which isn’t that healthy (especially, as I can’t gain that much weight that well due to my metabolism). Alas, that’s a goal: Eat more food and make it good/healthy more often. 

As far as distant relatives go, a lot of them won’t do me any good if I talk to them too much or too often which is why I usually put it off a lot… but I need to talk to my grandparents or my uncles and aunts and great-uncles and whatever every once in a while, I guess. Obviously, if they aren’t that good for me for various reason, it’s important to not let them influence me too much. Talking to them at least once or twice in a month should be alright, though, just to keep in touch a bit. As far as my parents go, the relationship can be kind of shakey, especially when I haven’t called in a while. Alas, I need to call them at least once in a while so that they don’t get too worried and so that they don’t get upset about me not calling or whatever. I feel like a lot of people know that.

At last: Being more positive and less negative. “Duh.”

More often than not, I feel like I have to vent about stuff which makes it seem as if I was a relatively negative person. For instance, I do get upset about stuff like covidiots from time to time who endanger people even with the pandemic still being a thing. I could rant about racist cops, bigots in general, nazis, Trump, and all of those “baddies” in the world for hours… but I could also just not do that. I don’t want to be that person that only really talks about negative stuff and how many bad things there are in the world. I’d rather be someone who encourages positivity and who helps people when they need to vent or when they need someone positive instead of more negativity. I’d love it if other people didn’t have to go through as many anxiety or panic attacks as me and I’d love it if they could get more relief from seeing one of my posts or tweets once in a while. 

And obviously, I’m not gonna become one of those “chase your dream and escape the hamster wheel” guys or whatever… and I still have strong opinions on a lot of bigots… but I just wanna be less negative in general and maybe spread some more good vibes here and there. To do that, I could post more often about good things that happened to me in The Stray Sheep (if there are no posts in The Stray Sheep from now on then I guess 2021’s worse than 2020) or about some sort of accomplishment or whatever.

So I may rant or vent somewhere here and there or talk about how I’m drained or whatever but I don’t wanna be all about that… I want at least double the number of positive posts and good vibes to be spread by me! Or let’s triple or quadruple that number! Sounds good to me!

Apart from that, there are also other things that are entailed in being “more positive” like body positivity and working on how I see myself… and my mental health and being in a healthier mindset and headspace in general. Just like in all those other years, I want to be a better human and be there for others and get better at a plethora of things, so I feel like this might be a great step. Just being slightly less negative and a lot more positive. ^-^

Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com

Oh, and less cynical for sure. My motto in life is “Das wird schon” which means something along the lines of “it’ll work out somehow”, which is rather optimistic. However, I’m a super pessimist. I’m constantly going at things in life with the worst expectations if any at all because then I can’t be disappointed. I know that I’ll never be happy with the election results or with how the weather is going to be, so I just constantly expect the AfD to have all of the votes, which would be super bad… and then they don’t have that many votes, so I’m happy about it… kinda… and the weather? Well, I’m sure it’s gonna rain all-day every day for the next 90 years. Because that’s not gonna happen, my expectations have not been met… which is good because I didn’t really have any realistic expectations in the first place. When it comes to gifts, I don’t expect any gifts… and then I get gifts and I’m happy about them. Being less pessmistic and less cynical in those instances could lead to a bit more quality in life. I will still have low expectations of movies, games and shows. I will still have no expectations of other things… and I’ll still be more than happy when my expectations aren’t met and when something better ends up happening… I just want to be less of an asshole.

Photo source over here at Pexels!

Being less of an asshole at times would be great as I can be quite sarcastic and cynical at times… and I don’t want that to happen. I want stuff to work out and hence, I want to be more patient with people and with myself. I don’t want to repeat so many of my past mistakes of constantly overthinking every single word that anyone said or any situation that has happened or could happen or whatever. At the same time, I don’t want to fall into that habbit again of forgiving toxic people again. Just recently I cut off someone who I knew for about eight years now. I don’t want to ramble too much about someone as egocentric and sexist and toxic as that guy, so I just won’t. Instead, I want to be better and focus my energy on the good things in the world and the great friends that I have and all the people I love and appreciate. I want to talk to more great people and be there for others. I want to play some games with people on my discord (btw, join if you wanna!) and play games with other bloggers and work on great blog posts or improve my stream and my blog. I want to be better than those people that bullshit others all the time. I want to be a good human being and live my life to the fullest. I don’t want to look back and regret anything. I’d rather have a great time before I die.

So, being positive and less of a cynic is gonna be great. Eating healthier and more often is gonna be great. Sleeping better and more frequently is gonna be great. Becoming a teacher eventually is gonna be great. Living a healthier life and taking care of my mental health is gonna be great. 2021 is gonna be great.

Just having those resolutions makes me already feel good about the new year. My goal of trying to be better and more positive is there and I’m working towards it and potentially it will come true or I’ll get as far as possible with it. It’s all a work in progress and I’m looking forward to that process of constantly working on things and reflecting on things I did or said or wanna do. I’m looking forward to eventually being someone that is happy with himself and that is able to lift others up as well. I’m looking forward to 2021.

Do you guys have any resolutions? What are your thoughts on them? Are they always the same or do you change them up? Do you make them come true or do they just stay in the Work In Progress phase until you write up new ones?

Let me know! And good luck with your resolutions if you have any. Happy New Year!

Cheers!

This post originated on Indiecator and was first published on there by Dan Indiecator aka MagiWasTaken.

Blaugust Prompt #12 – Dwell in the past

Blaugust Prompt 11 about my physical creative workspace is… in the works… but I want to post pictures that I can’t get right now… I’m not there after all. Hence, we’re writing about Prompt 12 instead, for now, which is hosted by SDWeasel over at USS! The next post in line is by Jen over here. Check her out. (Usually, this would be at the end, but in this case, that’s not possible at all with how the post is set up and written.)

This post is part of the Blaugust 2020 event. Wanna know more about it? Then check out my post on it or Bel’s post where he also linked everyone who’s participating! Be sure to check out the others as well!

“What’s something that you’ve lost along the way… that you’d like to get back?”

And well, the short answer to that would be my childhood and the relationships I had with my family. 

I often dwell in the past and get nostalgic but essentially there used to be easier times. I’m the oldest brother and have three younger siblings. When we were younger we would go for a walk into the mountains nearby and I would make up games and fantasy stories about us hunting monsters or saving the world or other adventures. Even my sister (at the time, more of a tomboy, tbh) would come with me and my brothers to play and have fun and it was a lot simpler at the time.

One time, we met some tourists who got hopelessly lost. We guided them to “the old castle ruin” and I told them a bit about the city’s history since I’m a crack for my hometown’s past… and in the end, they gave us 2€ each, so we got 2 ice cream balls each! – At the time, that was insane for us.

My sister is three years younger than me and my brothers (twins btw) are four years younger than me. As the oldest brother, I was supposed to help them out with school stuff since I at the time knew German better than my parents. They’d let me help them and I was actually helpful to them back then. 

It was a simpler time and it all changed when we got our first computer. 

Long story short, video games changed my life. While I used it as a much-needed escape, it drove my siblings and me further away from each other. We ended up drifting apart and over time, especially with me moving out two years ago, they don’t really want to talk to me too much and even with me visiting for a week, they don’t really desire to spend too much time with me.

Essentially, I’ve lost the close relationship that I had to my siblings and I’d love to have that again. I’d love to chat with them. I’d love to play with them and hang out and all of that. My girlfriend and her sister are very close, so I somewhat envy her because of that. I really hope that it gets better eventually and I definitely need to work on my relationship to my family members but at the same time, they also have to make some steps to improve it.

As time goes on, they’ll understand how important these things are. They’ll also try their best to get closer to me, hopefully.

I’m here for four days already and it’s making me anxious right now. My father has different appointments to tend to due to his health issues. My mother has to work all the time. My sister is either at her friends’ place or at work. My brothers have school or are spending time with their friends. Hence, I’m left here as if nothing changed. I don’t really get to spend too much time with them and that’s one of the things that are making me anxious right now.

Luckily, I know that everything will turn out for the better eventually. And I also have my blog to turn to and write about things, though I admittedly changed this post now in hindsight, as I don’t think that it’s too fitting to talk about my personal issues too much on a blog like this.

It’s a small relief to be able to write about things. It’s a big relief that I’ll be in my own four walls in just a few more days. It’s an even bigger relief that I’ll be able to talk about all of this when I’ve got my first ever therapy session.

I can’t wait for all of this.